


scared of getting good

by palateens



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/F, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 08:32:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palateens/pseuds/palateens
Summary: She feels an arm wrap around her shoulder. Her gaze flickers to Caitlin who looks sort of guilty, but also hopeful.





	scared of getting good

**Author's Note:**

> apparently I love foxfarmer with a burning passion and will be writing more for them in the future   
> also I will update Ford's name whenever Ngozi gives us a first name

Jessica’s first season with SMH comes and goes with the first of week of Spring. It’s earlier than the last few years, they tell her. Which seems to put most of the team in low spirits. Justin and Larissa make plans to celebrate their birthdays with a big party. 

But before that, the team has an entire week to just laze about, letting the beginning of an end wash over them like fresh waves of sunshine. She’s hung out with the sophomores,  _ Frogs _ , and Tony and Conner, or  _ Tadpoles _ apparently. 

She’s a tadpole, they tell her. They don’t say it like her roommate’s boyfriend gets called a pledge. It’s not an insult, or a reminder that she has to fight to gain her place. This _ is _ her place. She belongs here. They tell her so every chance they get. 

It’s in the little things like “hey Jess, I saw this and thought of you” or “yo’ Foxtrot, check this out.” It’s in the way Derek and Justin meet her subtle glare when no one else knows who Dawnn Lewis is. It’s in the way Connor lets her vent, Chris says hi with a smile and a new vinyl to listen to, and Tony always gives her a reason to laugh. It’s in the way Dex drives her to the good hardware store in the suburbs, and physically pushes away assholes when they crowd around the power tools that they argue she knows “nothing” about. 

Derek brings up the idea of having a camp out in the backyard. He chirps Dex about serenading him with some air guitar. Dex’s ears get bright red. 

“I have a guitar,” Dex grumbles.

Derek stops snickering. “No way. Are you good?”

Dex snorts, cocking an eyebrow. “I hope. My band in high school played a lot of gigs.” 

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not,” Derek says. 

Dex shrugs, leaves, and comes back twenty minutes later with an acoustic guitar and Caitlin Farmer humming along beside him. Caitlin is Chris’s girlfriend. She lives in the women’s volleyball house a block down. She’s got half a foot on Jess, she’s almost always in a Samwell hoodie, and her smirk is beautiful and confident enough to make anyone blush. 

Her Spanish is crude and sloppy, but also lively—like a salmon swimming upstream. Caitlin runs past the house almost every morning as the hockey team is walking home from practice. Jess is thankful that cold weather has allotted her the ability to hide her stunned expressions behind big winter scarves. She’s horrible at starting, and  _ continuing _ , conversations with Caitlin. 

Somehow, the Frogs and Tadpoles successfully start a controlled fire in the backyard. The guys manage to carry the couch out back. 

“Don’t get it too close to the fire,” Connor says. “You wouldn’t want to make Bitty happy and actually destroy this thing.”

“This couch doesn’t go until I graduate,” Chris says firmly. 

Jess chuckles quietly to herself. Caitlin nudges her, waving Jess to sit next to her. Their knees knock together. Jess feels her face heat up. She tries to scoot away slightly, despite the fact that the couch is absolutely packed. 

“Hey, no worries,” Caitlin says. “Unless you want more space. Dex can sit on the ground.” 

Dex grumbles before doing it anyway. 

“No that’s fine,” Jess insists. “You don’t have to.”

Dex shrugs, his frown softening when he looks up at her. 

“Taking requests,” Dex says. 

“No dad rock,” Chris says.

“Says the guy who incessantly plays Black Sabbath,” Dex chirps. 

“What genre do you normally play?” Tony asks. 

“Alt rock and indie rock,” Dex says. 

Tony eyes him warily. “What’s the difference?” 

Dex gapes at him. “You’re joking, right?”

“Wow, Dex, I didn’t know you were a music snob,” Jess says with the straightest face. 

Derek and Caitlin laugh. Connor offers her a fist bump. 

Dex rolls his eyes. “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.” 

Derek chokes on his can of Natty Light. “Marry me,” he says. 

Jess doesn’t miss the pleased smile Dex’s face. Although she thinks Derek might have. Dex does know a lot of grungey covers of older songs. But he also plays some songs from groups he discovered on Bandcamp. After a few drinks, he, Chris, and Derek get into something like a jam session. They put together the most impromptu experimental rap performance she’s ever seen. 

It almost sounds harmonious. 

They try for smores. But no one knows where Bitty hides his good chocolate, and no one feels like going to Murder Stop N Shop tonight. So they make do with graham crackers and marshmallows. Caitlin apparently likes hers burnt.

“I only eat things as dark as my soul,” she explains with a wink. 

Jess swears she sees Chris swoon. 

She doesn’t know if it’s the shitty beer or the fact that she’s never really been in one place with Caitlin for this long, but Jess feels herself loosening up. They make a lot of jokes at the guys’ expense. They talk about New England is nothing like living out West. 

“Do you miss the mountains?” Caitlin asks her at one point. 

Jess nods through another sip of beer. “All the time. It’s so fun to drive in through the foothills. Every road feels like it’s own roller-coaster.” 

She sighs. “I miss being able to wear sweaters one day, summer gear the next.” 

Caitlin nods. “Me too, weather doesn’t change as much in California. But, it still beats winters around here.” 

Jess hums quietly in agreement. The energy from earlier is dying down. Connor and Tony are making out behind the couch. Chris and Derek are falling asleep on Dex’s shoulders as he keeps playing songs she can only vaguely recognize. 

It must be a quiet evening in Boston, because Jess can see more stars than normal. It’s getting colder out, and she only has a thin periwinkle cardigan on to keep her warm. Larissa’s letting her sleepover this week. But who knows when she’ll be back from the bars. 

She feels an arm wrap around her shoulder. Her gaze flickers to Caitlin who looks sort of guilty, but also hopeful.

“Is this alright?” Caitlin whispers. 

Jess nods, scooting a little closer. And because she’s feeling really brave, she rests her head against Caitlin’s shoulder. When Caitlin settles back against the couch more, making them both more comfortable, Jess lets out a sigh of relief. 

She wants to say something, to be a little more brave, and courageous. It’s one thing to have three hockey players explain that they’re dating each other...and that one of them has a girlfriend. It’s another to be interested in someone who could want her too. 

The concept knocks the wind out of her lungs a little bit. 

Whenever she thinks of Caitlin, her mind flickers to thoughts of waves lapping up against a sandy shore, of  columbines dancing in the wind, of arepas she didn’t know she missed. She thinks a lot about those corny lens flare filters and why sunlight always seems to catch the outline of Caitlin’s cheek. 

This isn’t the first time she’s felt this way about a girl. But she thinks this is certainly the first time she can do anything about it. 

Jess swallows a little bit of courage—real courage.  

“Hey Cait?” she murmurs. 

Caitlin hums, taking her head away from its comfortable spot on top of Jess’. “What’s up?”

Jess ducks her head a little, biting her lip. She steadies herself, eyes meeting Caitlin’s. Caitlin has all this warmth and encouragement swimming in her eyes. Jess has never been more excited to potentially make a fool of herself before. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jess asks. 

Caitlin leans in slowly, hair falling to the side of her face. Her lips are an inch away from Jess’. 

“Yes please,” Caitlin whispers. “I’d really like that.” 

Their lips get a little stuck from Caitlin’s lipgloss at first. But then they find a rhythm, and it’s really good. Their tongues are slipping in and out of each other’s mouths as their bodies get closer. It’s a little awkward but fun. It makes the beating of Jess’ heart race a little faster. 

Hands wander; kisses deepen. 

She ends up lying on the couch, her hair mussed and definitely in need of some love. Caitlin’s hovering over her. It’s dark out, but she can still make out the vibrant red tinge of Caitlin’s face. 

“How was that?” Caitlin asks. 

“Amazing,” Jess admits. 

Caitlin giggles. The sound feels like coffee in the morning. 

“I’m glad,” Caitlin says. She bites her lip. “Hey Jess?”

“Yea?” 

“Could I take you out sometime? Like a date,” she clarifies. 

Jess has to cover her mouth to hold back an excited yelp. She nods, before swallowing thickly. 

“Yea,” Jess says finally. “I’d like that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> fic title - lyrics from Worst in Me by Julia Michaels


End file.
